I thought it wouldn’t hurt me as much, however it hurts more than anything else in the world right now. Crying non stop every second I think about him :’( I guess relationships are dangerous things, however people still take the risk. I really did think it would be fine… I never thought anything like this would happen….

WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I STILL WANT TO BE WITH HIM!!!! I WANNA HUG HIM!! I WANT HIM TO HUG ME TO SLEEP!!! I WANT HIM TO STOP MY TEARS… I WANT HIM TO BE HERE FOR ME!!!! WHY ISN’T HE HERE WHEN I NEED HIM MOST?!!!!! HE PROMISED ME!!!! HE SAID HE WOULDN’T LEAVE!!!!!! WHY ISN’T HE HERE TO PROTECT ME!!!!! WHERE IS HE!? I WANT HIM BY MY SIDE…

I’LL GIVE ANYTHING UP FOR HIM TO BE HERE NEXT TO ME!!!!

I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!! I CAN’T SURVIVE WITHOUT HIM!!! I WANT HIM HERE!!!! I NEED HIM!!!!! I NEED HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i need him….. :’(

wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what’s he doing going to a cosplay event tomorrow….

tomorrow was suppose to be our 9 months… :’(

wahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i can’t take it!!!!!!

I DON’T KNOW WHY I WORRY AND CARE FOR HIM SO MUCH!!!!!!! :’(

i kept on checking on his fb too…. so much… see what he was doing, to see if he’s okay…. but i can’t tell with just his fb….

i want to see him…..  :’(

I WANT TO SEE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :’(

I can’t take it not seeing him…

I said I would sleep… However it’s not working… I lay here on my bed… Trying to close my red puffy eyes…ignoring the tears continually falling….. It just keeps on falling down my face…. I wipe and wipe all of it… But more and more just drip out… I can’t control it anymore…

Life is so full of pain… I’ve never felt so much pain in my life life before until now… I’ve cried almost everyday ever since may…. Every fucking day! Do you know how painful that is?! Every fucking second it feels as if a fucking knife is stabbing into me!!!! Everytime my eyes are red and they go worse day by day…..

Maybe I’m just a waste of your time…..I guess my existence in life was a bad thing… I shulouldnt even be in a place like this…. I should go to a dark place and a cold place where no one can find me ever….

sigh…. so apparently I’ve been turning someone into someone they don’t want to be…. I really don’t mean it in any way… I’m just trying my best in life to be happy and strong….. and yet…. even though my life is ruined…. I’m now ruining yours..??
I’m sorry…. really…. I really didn’t want to do any of that…. but…. I guess if it keeps happening…. I really should gtfo of your life…. what good am I to you…?
I’m just dragging you down in life… sigh….
~_~ man…. I really hate feeling sad and depressed and shit aye… fml >_>
sigh….. I wonder if I’m going to cry myself to sleep again like last night…? :’(
sigh…………………………………………………………………………….
ahh.. anyways ima go sleep… its like 3am… ><
night readers.

So another problem… when I was waiting for my friend for 3 hours… someone else was talking to me…. sigh.. and fml

anyways don’t really want to talk much about it… but all I can say is that I feel unwanted.

I really don’t know what to do… I feel like walking out of my house right now and walk till morning… seriously…. like fucking hell….sigh….

Okai, so I have now been sitting here in my room for what..? 3 hours now.. waiting for a friend to contact me so we can go out… and like what? 2 hours before this I contacted and messaged her and called her and calling didn’t work -_- coz it went to her fucking voicemail and my texts seems to be ignored….? Like wtf man?! I got ready like fucking 3 hours ago… and I have not received a call or text saying anything?! like fucking seriously?! What kind of friend are you really? Before all this shit happened you were all good and like a bestie to me, now it’s like are you really a friend to me anymore? You said you wanted to keep me as a friend, yeah I agreed to that too… but now with all this shit happening and all your doing behind our backs….I feel really empty…. I feel like should I have been there for her? Should I have done all the things up to now? LIKE FUCK!